There are different ways of communication, helping us avoid the arguments and development of harmonious relations. Most people, the techniques suggested below quality improvements, not only in his love life, but also in relationships with other family members, colleagues, friends and strangers. In other words, everyone!
The great conflict negotiator, Marshall Rosenberg shared that when he taught his communication skills for non-violent elementary school children who collected the ability to recognize their feelings and share them with more responsibility faster than their teachers and school administrators. While it is true in general that young minds absorb information more easily when we get older and more are on our way, there is still hope if we willing to try. In this context, there are three proven tools to improve communication between you and your partner.
A. Self-awareness. Take the time to become aware of more and more what happened to you if you are angry with your partner work. For example, if you are frustrated because your partner out with the garbage when it is fully committed, but in reality it is not, you can be fully justified to be angry. But we will decompose. It seems to be more than kept his word, and participate in the housework. In his anger, you may feel that you cannot trust to follow him, by what he says, and has done more than it's fair share at home, you can see a lack of association. Win allows self-awareness of the deeper issues and allows for better communication. Once you clarify what is going on inside of you to communicate constructively with "I" am, the word "I" and "me" instead of speaking to accuse or blame.
For example, instead of saying: "Never take out the garbage, I have it!" Anger and do it yourself, you might say: "I would be delighted if you took the trash without could regularly reminded relax and hope that you go on and it's a good feeling to share the work with me. "Feel the difference in emotional tone?
Second Recognition. It would be going too far at this point, if your partner is willing to recognize what they were saying. This means that it is open, not defensive and say something simple like "I know I did not systematically take the trash." As we know our partner said to recognize a defense, he is usually a calming effect annoying. There's also the "evil" because he / she is that there are ways without changing the situation believes communicate. Nero-Linguistic Programming, a powerful approach to interpersonal communication, found that the use of the same words that the other person allows him / feel understood. Orville Hendrix used a similar technique in his book reflects the Imago Relationship Therapy.
Reproduction sounds like: "I would be happy if I took the garbage regularly without you reminding me Relax and I hope that I continue, and it feels good when they share the household with you.." When we are on exactly what to reflect the other person said, the person feels understood and respected. It is a powerful tool in the DE-escalation of conflict and the restoration of cooperation.
Third Responsibility. Task is to take responsibility for our feelings and actions. Again, this is a little embarrassing, to be themselves. So if I was the only one not in the trash bin, I wonder what happened to me. Maybe I've been busy at work and tired to do anything else. I was fixing things around the house and feel appreciated. Maybe I will for something else. Maybe you do not like taking out the garbage. Anyway, I have to clarify this point to communicate well for me.
When working with a partner, it really helps when you. Both a sincere effort to understand and cooperate with other Make a statement, according to another institution of its intention to more harmonious and peaceful forms of interaction that you communicate better, have fewer arguments and constructive discussions to find. If your partner is not going to work with you, shows the intention. Itself and then the methods themselves it is very useful.
http://allaboutselfimprovement.blogspot.com/2012/10/positive-affirmations-talking-with.html
