Relationships can fall apart pretty quickly under the impact of the depressive breakdown. While many couples choose to leave forever depressed, I think it's more common for two people who choose to stay together and try to keep up. If this is the case where you are, you have more chances to earn go for it and eventually restore the relationship.
When I and my wife and I discovered that apparently we suffer the collapse of the depression of the first things you need to do is learn to communicate, to be with each other. If I did not do it, I doubt he could have continued in the last 25 years.
There are methods that can help begin the healing process of the relationship, but they have a lot of practice and commitment from both sides. If you can stay with them, they will help you as it helped.
Note that this will not solve all the problems, they can not cure depression breakdown. However, they can help keep your relationship going while suffering the depressive breakdown partner may need treatment for the disease.
Contact Beyond Words
Great advice he learned to partner depressive breakdown has to do with words. There are countless lists of useful things say things you should not say. The problem is that words can not express what you mean.
Communication is a person's overall presence. When you and your partner's conversation is much more attentive expressions Penn, physical signs, especially his tone and words naked. They move when you try to connect to each other, and both senses dozen changes are on the rise.
In the midst of the depressive breakdown, all signals are used to remove or block different meanings for each of you to spend. The methods we have learned to help us get behind these symbols and understand what we need each other.
It all depends on our cooperation. This is the first step, but we can start with ourselves.
So we go and what we learned.
One.
Help build
You may be able to learn new skills yourself, but you get a large number of difficult moments. Trained counselor or therapist can guide you through the first steps and give you exercises to practice. Good professional can also show the techniques had not heard.
Two.
Make the commitment
It is important that you are committed to working with others over time. This is not something that can be done in 20 minutes a day. Trying to learn to become second nature. Finally, you will also know when and how to use them without asking. But it takes a big commitment and a lot of time and practice.
3.
Find out what causes
One of the best starting point is to analyze what everybody feels and their needs, and identify trigger events sent into a spin. G'niifr describe a quick method to do good loving someone with bipolar disorder. Each one of you says on paper what you feel in the relationship. By acting together, they both get to experience a lot of misconceptions about each person.
Then you can specify the types of events that are the deepest feelings of anger, pain or injury. You can try to estimate what your partner is identified. The point is to be aware of the risk points, so you can try to avoid provoking a confrontation with a loved one to suffer depressive breakdown of your relationship.
4.
Stop hasty judgment
Psychologist Carl Rogers believed that the conflict began our usual judgments. We hear criticism or action committees, making a quick assumption judge and respond. We have worked a long time with a method to stop the process of consciousness through a speedy trial. Appears immediately, but this sequence can be interrupted.
■ Something First seen - heard a statement, to see the expressions on the side, look at your partner. It makes starting the process.
■ according to your brain recognizes what is perception and interpreter. You assume you know what it is supposed to communicate.
■ Then comes an emotional response. If the trigger is sensitive to the context of depression, it is probably negative. You feel angry, hurt, frustrated.
■ You make a judgment. You attacked for no reason. Your partner will not listen, get angry and blame me for something he did not do.
■ Finally, pull back and you're out serious discussion.
All this happens in a split second, even if you think of doing something very complicated. What you can learn to do, after much practice, is to stop the process before making a final decision to launch an attack. Sounds simple, but it is very hard to do: you need to check your understanding with your partner.
You say something like, "This is what I've seen, this is how I interpret that I'm right that's what I wanted to say.?" You can find totally missed the boat -. Alternatively, you may find that you are right, but even if you have read this correctly, you now have the ability to check what's wrong is not. It's amazing how this question can pause and stop the escalation of emotions in a fight.
But remember, as we did, may be necessary to study the system of care. He led us in practice. And agreed to work on this when we get into trouble. We used this basic tool for a long time, but we can easily forget. Even if this happens, however, we also have the model as a reference. There is a good chance that one of us understand what is happening and try to get us back to where we were wrong.
5.
Hear the other side
After failing to stop the burst trial, both can hear others relate to more easily. The most difficult part is to listen without trying to evaluate or judge. There is a strong need to interrupt, criticize, reject - when making quick judgments are trying to account. The best thing is to listen quietly and focus on what your partner says. They describe how they see things, and what you need to understand.
After that, it is useful to reflect what you've heard to prove who really listen to what they say. The sense that she heard and understood is powerful in any relationship. This affirmation of the experience and hope.
6.
Be realistic:
Easy to expect too much too soon each method. You can try it for a while, but they have difficulties to carry out new techniques. This applies to any type of treatment and the whole healing process. The beginning of the Depression changed everything and rush to make things better.
You have to be patient with yourself and Ben partner. Give yourself enough time to learn the new ways of relating to each other.
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